You are not stuck. You are scared!

We all know that one person; be it a family member, friend, collegue who is stuck on a job they don’t like or stuck studying a course that don’t even inspire them to live. But for some reason or the other, they feel obliged to engage in that activity even though they are fully aware of the fact they are very unhappy. I’m the perfect example…

I was talking with a friend(Frank) about all and nothing and I went ahead explaining how I have to work like crazy this summer to make enough means for my fees and stuff ( thing I succeeded in doing. Thank God). As he listened, he coud feel my exhaustion and discouragement and so he asked “What’s wrong with you?” I replied “I’m stuck here. I feel I ain’t moving!” As if he expected that answer, he started asking all these questions: “Who stuck you? Where and why are you stuck? What did they use on you? Glue or paper tape? Is that glue permanent? 

I stared at him in awe, like ‘are you for real right now?‘..well I had to answer so I picked each question:

Who ‘stuck’ you? I would have said Family due to the fact it was chosen for me and I just found myself doing it but I did stick myself considering I chose to accept that decision.

Where and why are you ‘stuck’? My studies for I really feel I don’t belong and I’m just an outsider trying to find herself…

What did they use on you? Glue, paper tape? Is it permanent? I smiled but I lowkey wanted to give him a good slap so I said “I don’t know what they used but I don’t think it’s permanent.”

Frank: “Why then don’t you change courses

Me(almost panicking): ” Finding a new admission, making new documents and all. I’ll have to call the immigration to say I’m changing school and I might as well just leave the country before doing that..plus the expenses are too high and gracious Lord, what about my family? I mean, it’s gonna be too much stress, change etc

Frank: ” So afterall, you’re just scared

Me: ” Say what?

Frank (offering a smile) : “when you close your eyes, where do you see yourself or better, what do you picture yourself doing?

I went talking about how I’ve always wanted to be a nurse; to take care of people and have this human touch, connection. I just love talking to people, listening to their problems and knowing I can be of help and make a change. Other case, I would have done pharmacy and carried out all the possible experiments in the world. But here I am, doing computer science and still struggling to get my degree…

The truth is, Frank hit a very sensitive point..I’m definitely not stuck cuz I always have a choice to make things better..I AM SCARED. Of what really? Of starting over, of not even believing that what’s truly in my heart is what I need, of disappointing family, of being judged, of not making it, of change etc. All of this gives me the impression I’m stuck whereas I’m not. But once you cross that fear, you notice it really isn’t a big deal…

You are scared of being seen as a quitter but did you truly quit? Following our hearts and chasing our dreams isn’t quiting…that’s fighting for our happiness. Let the world know you are changing your life, building yourself and consequenty your world. I don’t think the world will come crashing down cuz one person quit.

Maybe you’ll need to go back to school even if you’ve been on the market for a while now. Maybe you’ll need to leave your family, city and move out to another one. Maybe you’ll have to quit your job to start that business, project you’ve wanted to start or go on that trip you always dreamed of. You’ll need to take that bold step and trust your gut feeling. There will  always be jobs available, schools will always be open, opportunities will be given. Go ahead and break the rules.

Don’t be so hard on yourself but most importantly, don’t feel like you have to impress anybody. The standard of the world is for standard, ordinary people and I guess or better still, I know you’re an extraordinary someone. So step out of the lot and make the difference. Start your business, go study your dream course, pursue your dream. It doesn’t matter how long it’ll take. So far as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

You are not stuck sweetie. You are scared. In the end, the only things we regret in life are the chances we didn’t take. Turn around and don’t look back. Have an amazing beginning of week. God bless.

Sammy J.

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