My change, my choice.

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It’s OK not to be OK but it’s not OK to remain not OK.” ~ Sammy J.

I hope I didn’t get you confused with that phrase. They say if you dont experience ups and downs, then you’re dead! We all have our low moments, when we can’t find ourselves and it’s fine. We are but human and it’s ok not to be ok. But when you sit on that moment, drag it through life and see life as not worth living and you make no effort fixing it, then there’s a problem. It’s not ok to remain not ok. I’ve said a thousand times I’m tired, I feel empty, I don’t wanna feel this way again, I ain’t see nothing moving yet what have I done to make things better? It’s time for a change.

1) I’ll be genuinely happy.

I want to wake up each day and simply smile because I am alive. Because God was merciful enough to give me another chance. Another chance to acknowledge His greatness. To go for my dreams, to right my wrongs,to love unconditionally, to break the odds and be the best version I could be. Things may be crumbling but I know someday,I’ll be where I’m supposed to be, with who I’m supposed to be and doing exactly what I’m supposed to do. So if someone makes me happy, I’ll be with them everyday. If writing keeps me going, then I’ll write everyday. Real happiness and magic comes from within so no matter what comes my way,today I choose to be happy.

2) I’ll be blatantly honest.

People think saying we ain’t fine make us weak or saying exactly how things are make us heartless. I am not weak but strong cuz acceptance is the first step to healing. I’m just saying it because it reminds me I’m not in a permanent state and I can walk pass it anytime. I am not heartless because I care enough not to cover you up with lies. So if you can be a friend, lover, psychiatrist, counsellor or whatever role you play in my life, be one. Your words could heal or encourage. I guess I’m done sugar-coating life and wanting it to be all rosy. Expect me to tell you exactly how I feel, to tell you exactly what things really are and I’ll be ready for whatever awaits me. Don’t lie to me for I won’t do same. Today I choose to be honest.

3) If you can’t find a way,make one.

I really don’t know how I manage to post the way I do considering I lack all the necessary gadgets to keep my work flowing. Yet here I am, every 2-3 times a week pouring out my soul. If it matters to you, you’ll find a way or in my case, you’ll make one. So today I choose to trace my own path.

4) Do it now!

You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays” ~ Harold Hill.

I can’t count the number of opportunities I missed because I was scared or I was simply waiting for the ‘right’ moment. Is there really a right time for anything?  You can’t wait till you have everything settled and clear before thinking of achieving anything. Start now and grow through the process. Believe in yourself. Certain things will unfold by your doing and others by God’s doing. Today I started a publication on Medium with two friends and it’s scary as hell, the implications, expectations, yet I decided to trust. Who knows where this could take us. Today I choose to make my dreams come true.

5) Live truly.

Life is short so laugh out loud, breathe deep, be grateful, hug tight, kiss often, appreciate, love unconditionally. Break the rules and go on adventures. Keep promises, dream big, share happiness, make wishes, help others, do your best, have hopes, keep your chin up, speak kindly. Learn, plan, cherish, smile and enjoy. Be happy. Someone didn’t open his eyes today but here you are…make it your best day. So today I choose to live and cherish every moment.

I’m on a journey, still trying to figure out what’s my main purpose but I’m on my way.  My brokenness doesn’t require your pity. My deepness doesn’t establish my level of intelligence. My creativity doesn’t classify my degree of spontaneity. All you get are pieces of me, my identity, my world in all its vigour and diversity. Writing makes me sane, it keeps me real, with the true me and this crazy world we live in. Judge me for my doings or saying, it doesn’t matter. Life is tough but so am I. This passion you see, feel, observe, is my flame, burning deep down and can’t be wiped out.

I still fall on my face sometimes but I get up with every strike. You will see me break but never give up. My crown might tilt but it’ll never fall down. I’m perfectly incomplete but I’m still working on my masterpiece.

For those who know me, I haven’t changed. I’m just growing, building myself up. For those still getting to know me, hold on tight cuz you’re embarking on a great journey. The old is dead and gone. Actions change things. Welcome! This is it, this is me, this is my change!

Sammy J.

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