Why not me? On being someone else…

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I think November is definitely going to be a very interesting month for me. Not only am I trying to apply things I’ve learnt through out my months of rehab (if I can call it that way), but things keep hitting me. The truth keeps hitting me and it’s a little bit clear now. Let’s talk about envy. Not in the excessive manner which could lead us to terrible things. Let’s just call it admiration…

I’m sure you lowkey sat and looked at someone’s life and wished it were you.You’ve seen a couple walk pass you or watched how they live and how happy they are and wished you had someone to be that happy with. You’ve looked at someone and wondered how he’s so successful, popular, intelligent etc and you’re like “damn, how does he do that? He’s so lucky!” Luck…we use the term when we think something is beyond reach and the universe simply picked particular people to bless. Have you ever really asked yourself if that type of life was meant for you? Ok, let’s say it was…are you ready for it? Will you know how to value it?

I always have those moments, where I just sit and wish things were better, where I wished I had another life.Why not me? I just wanted to fade away cuz I felt things weren’t going my way. I’ll look at my friends and family members and just wonder why things won’t work out for me…you know that feeling right? It’s not about sitting down and asking the whys and when things are gonna change but to understand why they are happening and for you to know how to break that chain of unceasing repetition. Why are they happening to you?Because:

1)You are not yet matured.

Maturity is not when you start speaking BIG things but when you start understanding SMALL things. There are a lot of things you still have to learn and you trying to be someone else or having someone else’s life is the worst thought to consume. What do you even know about their lives? Do you know what they have gone through to get there? What about you? Do you have a certain maturity to handle life’s ravishing experiences and be able to pick yourself up? I realized I don’t yet have that maturity. I don’t know the implications reasons why I keep blowing things up. The day you know what you’re getting yourself into and exactly what it connotates, then you’ll be able to distinguish why it’s them and not you. And you’ll appreciate your life and honestly work hard to get what you want.

2) You are not ready.

Being ready is when you know what you want and when it comes to you, being able to actually accept it and keeping it. I want my life, living my dreams, being happy, accomplishing what I’ve always wanted to do. It doesn’t have to be perfect. No one’s life is. But to be able to have that life, I should be ready but at times, being ready isn’t enough. I need to be prepared. How can I be prepared? By filling all the loopholes in my life. Righting my wrongs. Working on being my masterpiece. Knowing what I want and sticking to it. Being my own person and not letting things break me down. I’ll have to be at peace with myself, to love myself. Only then, will I be ready and prepared to have the life I want and deserve.

3) Negativity governs your thoughts.

I suppose we all have dreams and some of them seem impossible and that’s where the problem comes from. The moment you think it’s impossible, that you can’t make it, everything becomes harder. Every step seems like you’re being pulled back. Every effort seems wasted. Every minute seems endless. And slowly you start givng up. Then you break and you start wishing you had another life. To reach where you wanna be you need determination, courage and patience. So stop with the negative thoughts and see the future. Look ahead and don’t fold your hands. You’ll get there some day.

4) You’re focusing on their lives instead of yours.

Instead of wishing to be someone else, be happy being who you are. Yes you may be flawed but that’s what makes you beautiful and unique. You have your own battles and they have theirs. You are you are, they are them. Your blessings can’t be the same. Your challenges can’t be the same, and so definitely your life can’t be like theirs. So simply work on improving yours and maybe you’ll see the changes you want.

One thing I know is we are born for great things. Others have it early and others have it later. Life isn’t perfect and all we need to do is accept the phases we go through. Don’t envy their lives or wish you were them. The best thing you can do is comprehend why things are happening to you and learning from them. Only then can you truly evolve. I hope as the days go by, you visualize your life and see how blessed you are because while others had an easy life, you had to make your way and this is the greatest lesson of life. Building yourself up.

I don’t wanna be like you anymore. I just wanna be better than who I was yesterday. God bless.

Sammy J.

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