Here I am again Lord, holding my little pieces
With a broken heart, some things I could have easily avoided
If I had once listened to my instincts
To that little voice which told me “wrong way, wrong way!”
I’ve been on my worst behavior
I can’t lie, it felt good for a while
I was chasing people, love, trust, company, anything
And I forgot your arms were always were open for me.
I got lost in the way, lost myself with it
Not once, twice or thrice..uncountable times
I pretended it was my last time falling again
And the second later, I fell right back into it, even deeper.
My heart’s heavy Lord, I can’t hide it
Really forsaken, the burden is overwhelming
I can’t feel myself, my body, my senses, nothing
I’m just wandering, surely waiting for death’s hands to finally take me.
Started this month heartbroken, got me losing my mind
As if it wasn’t enough, the little life left in me was snatched
By another loved one, I wonder what’s happening
Is this you talking to me Lord or simply life messing with my rights?
I don’t know what to say Lord
I lack the words, my heart’s weary
I’m tired, extremely running out of reasons to live
And for one last time, I go down on bended knee.
I’ve never fallen this low before
Is this rock bottom cuz I can’t take no more
The enemy knew what buttons to press
Now I’m stuck in a pile of my own mess.
I’m learning life the rough way
Having to reach out, fight my battles on my own terms
Realizing I need to rely on you first
And letting you take control, getting rid of my wrong ways.
Here I am Lord,
I don’t even know what I want but one thing’s for sure
I don’t want to feel or live this way anymore
The pain, hurt, curse, weight is way too much
Take them away from me oh Lord, take them all
Or simply call me back to you and free me from it all!