Warm or cold hands?

We never get to know what we have till it slips away,

Death, accident, breakups, they all fade away,

And we sit staring at our lives for everything’s changed,

Wondering if it’ll ever, ever be the same.

 

I didn’t see this coming,

A minute we were talking ,

About ur health, your well-being,

And the next, you were gone,

I can’t believe!!

 

I don’t know what hurts the most,

The fact I wasn’t by your side,

Or the fact I won’t be able to see you again,

Neither will I be able to say my final goodbye.

 

I can’t and I won’t judge,

I can’t and I won’t blaspheme,

Are u in a better place? I pray so!

I’m just left with these mixed feelings,

Death, warm or cold hands?

 

We’ve all lost someone in our lives: a parent, relative, brother or sister, friend, acquintance and nothing beats that feeling of emptiness when we lose someone dear to us. I lost my grandmum today; she was 100years old. In our African culture, our parents usually name us after their parents and so my dad named me after his dad (meaning I’m my father’s dad) so technically, my grand-mum was my wife..lol so yeah I was close to her. In our childhood we will always go to the village during the summer holidays and spend time with her. There’s something about grand mother love…they protect and love you like crazy. We didn’t have much but what we had was enough. So I watched her grow old and by 2013, she had to come live with us in the city because her health was deteriorating. I lastly saw her in 2013 before I travelled to Canada. And while being here, my dad will always send me pictures and keep me updated with her health. That way I felt connected. I was discussing with my younger sister today through Facebook when she told me she was scared cuz my grand-mum’s state was really bad and my parents had gone to see her. So while I was trying to distract my sister, that’s when my mum called and told her she had passed away. I received the news live…not even 5minutes after my sister told me she was scared, my grand-mum left us.

I said my prayers and asked the Lord to receive her in His Heavenly Kingdom. When it comes to death we are not ourselves. We all pray and hope our loved ones make it to heaven but here’s the question: are the hands of  death cold or warm?

They are cold because they take away our loved ones. The love goes and is replaced by hate. The fullness is replaced by emptiness. The niceness is replaced by bitterness. Others condemn God and rebuke Him for taking their loved ones away.

They are warm because at the end of the day we have no control over life. God is the Supreme Commander and everything He does is good. 100 years is alot…she must have been suffering a great deal while being hospitalized and having to take all those drugs, pain killers, dripss, you name it, all day. Death could be a relieve in this case. She has gone to a better place; to finally see her creator.

I am hurt, I won’t get to say a proper goodbye but I have complete trust in my maker and I won’t sit to condemn or blaspheme. Losing someone is never easy but her reaching God above is rewarding. To any one who’s lost someone dear to them, I hope God has strengthened you and as for me, I pray God strengthens me. This is to my grand-mum…I love you and may you rest in perfect peace. Amen!! God bless.

Sammy J.