Finding the good in good-bye.


Saying goodbye to someone or something we’ve been used to or imagined we would never be separated from, is one of the hardest thing to do. It’s not even the goodbye that hurts but the flashbacks that follow. The memories you made, the tears you shed, the laughter you shared, the time you created, the love you nurtured like it depended on your life…everything that once made it worthwhile has to be shut down cuz they are no longer there. I’m not talking about losing someone to death but I’m talking about the relationships, careers, dreams, etc. And when they gone, welcome the sweet melancholy. We almost feel empty and life’s being muted…nothing seems to be moving and we are kinda lost.

I’ve had such an experience when I had to fail my courses in school. Told you guys about it already and how it really broke me down to the point of me being not motivated and losing interest in everything. I held on to my pain ad misery and felt useless. I never imagined myself ever stooping so low because I knew I was a fighter, strong to overcome certain things. But life happens and it hits us so hard we are faced downwards. Time has passed and I can say I’m no longer scared of what’s ahead of me. I decided to say goodbye…to my fears and be strong all over again.

For someone else, you could be saying goodbye to a lover and going through a break up is another whole story. You have to go through the process of deleting pictures, blocking them on social media and on your phones, burning presents they ever gave you, deleting anything that could possibly remind you of them. Because you are trying to heal or to run away from the pain. Someone told me “sometimes the memories are hard to forget and they hurt but you have to look at them until they no longer hurt you. Then you’ll know you’ve been healed in a way.” And it’s true. Sometimes we run away from the hurt and when we are faced with them sometime, somehow, we find ourselves hurting all over again. Other times we are scared of losing those people because we think we won’t find anyone better or willing to love us again. So we hold on tight even if it hurts.

I’m the clingy type and I have a very emotional/strong bond with memories and souvenirs/presents I have from my loved ones. Even after a breakup, I tend to keep pictures, objects,  gifts because they are important. I was happy with the person then so it reminds me of the good times and it kinda gives me hope that someday well meet again, maybe not as lovers but just to share some good memories. And if I ever have to actually destroy anything I had which is linked to you, then you must have hurt me real down to the core and I want you out of my life. Yeah..I’m kind of an extreme too😅.

Some of us struggle with moving forward because all we can see is what we left behind versus what lies ahead. We’re focused on what we lost instead of what we look to gain, but sometimes the very thing we are holding onto is the very thing that is holding us back. We need to learn to seed the good in good-bye. This is wh

G – Get out the way and let God take over.

We are so in a haste to go through this life that we forget there’s someone above who knows it all; the Creator. We get so busy trying to reach the end race we forget to sometimes pause to either thank Him or ask for guidance. We need to remember God more often, seek Him more often, stay in His presence more often and ask Him to lead us wherever He deems right for us. We need to let go of all that pressure society, family, friends have about who we need or should be. Sometimes we even ask for signs to God and when He gives them to us, we run the other way. Let God take the wheel.

O – Open up and embrace life all over again.

Losing someone doesn’t make it the end of the world and it’ll never be. That’s life and sometimes things go to enable better and bigger things to come in. You can give out a loud shout, cry all you want but never settle on your problems and hurt. Just because you haven’t found “Mr Right” doesn’t mean you’ll never find him. Just because you failed doesn’t mean you’ll never succeed. Just because you get “No’s” doesn’t mean you’ll never get a “yes”. Enjoy life while you still can and make the best of everything.

O – Observe the purpose and focus on the important things.

I believe we all have a purpose and sometimes one bad thing leads to a good one, not just for us but for the lives of others. What’s more encouraging than knowing your story could help someone or even save a life. A very encouraging verse is in Genesis 50:20 that says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…”. Meaning even the hurt that happens is for a good purpose. That’s why I do what I do. That’s why I write what I write. Sometimes it requires to dig my deep feelings but I do it anyway. I understand now more than ever that all of the so-called disappointments and failures experienced in the past actually prepared me for this moment – to help someone else who may be going through similar situations. Our tests form our testimonies. I have to ask myself sometimes, “What is my attitude in adversity” because I realize others may be watching and my actions and reactions can influence how they will deal with life’s interruptions. I have youn So, when things get difficult and when I want to give up, I remember my purpose and I keep moving.

D- Declare your victory.

We focus so much of what happened we forget to see we are actually blessed to be alive and to have avoided other worst things like catastrophes, earthquakes etc. Everything runs its course. If certain things and situations had not ended when they did, they could have very well prevented us from living life to our full potential. That’s the victory! I’m thankful to God for each and every blessing – the ones I prayed for and even the ones I didn’t know I needed; the open doors and even the ones He closed.

I hope today we will see more good in the goodbyes and still learn to live truly. Have a blessed day. God bless.

Sammy J.


8 thoughts on “Finding the good in good-bye.

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