24 lessons I picked up in my years of living

It is my birthday! Wow…what can I say? I am grateful to see another new age and to be honest, it has been a hell of a ride. I can’t say I’m where I want to be but I’m definitely not where I used to be. 2018 for me right from the start was a year I declared a lot of growth and claiming ownership: of my life, my choices, my needs, my purpose. I wanted this year (I still do) to be a fresh start. I was done living a certain way, making the same mistakes, going through the same issues and just turning in circles. I needed it to be different; my breakthrough. So I embarked on that journey.

During the past years, life has hit me with tragedies, heartbreaks, failures, successes and each mistake and win brought about a lesson or lessons. So as I look back to contemplate my life, I am truly and immensely grateful. You see, we spend so much of our time chasing after things, wanting more when sometimes all we have is right before our eyes. I always reflect over my life but this is the first time i make a list. There’s a first time to everything so here we go…the few things I learned in my 24 years of existence:

1. GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE FIRST. Put Him in everything you do. You will spend your life in circles, searching for answers and things in hopeless places thinking you don’t need Him but at the end of the day, you will find yourself right back at his feet.

2. The time is now. Love now. Live now. Plan now. The past is your lesson, the present is your gift and the future is your motivation. Cherish the moments, make most of the time you have because no one is guaranteed tomorrow. Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.

3. It always starts with you. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for your relationships with others. Whatever you tolerate or allow will continue. You are strong enough to face it all even though it doesn’t seem like it now.

4. Your wound may not be your fault but your healing is your responsibility. There’s no healing without release. No one can heal you the way you heal yourself and that’s one of your greatest superpowers.

5. Self-love is important, a priority but finding it may hurt. Be your own support system. Take yourself more seriously. Take care of yourself. Be patient with yourself. Dig deep and explore those parts of you that may scare you. Battle your demons. Own your truth. Love your flaws. Conquer your insecurities. Be brave. Be bold. Be confident. Keep working on yourself. Be better for you.

6. Find balance. You don’t need to have everything figured out. Life doesn’t come with a manual. Stop comparing and walk your walk. Your path is yours alone. Trust the process. Know when to hustle and when to rest. Respect your energy. Educate yourself and enjoy the beauty of it all.

7. Everything you are looking for outside is inside of you: Love, Respect, Self-worth, Confidence, Happiness, Comfort, Understanding. It is an inside conversation. The real stuff is the deep stuff and you have to dig deep to find them.

8. Love is caring, it nurtures. It doesn’t look for flaws or strike on old wounds. It is patient, it understands, it listens. It gives, freely. Love sets you free.

9. Understand where your parents come from, their upbringing, their point of view. They have feelings too and they don’t mean harm when they go all hard on you. Learn to be patient with them.

10. You are what you say to yourself. Be careful of your thoughts/words. Sometimes the enemy is you. Don’t crowd your thoughts with so much negativity they become your truth.

11. Love yourself beyond pain, beyond belief. Love yourself to be enough..then be enough. Love yourself first, then learn to give it. Trusting another person has a lot to do with how free you are with yourself. Love cannot dwell in a place of fear or doubt. When you are free with yourself, only then can you allow another person in.

12. No one gets it the right time. Learn from your mistakes. Grow. Be better. Work harder.

13. Friends who know your story and hold your best interests at heart need more than a thank you note. Pray for them.

14. Real friends aren’t there for your convenience. They will tell you the truth; what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. Real friends speak with tears in their eyes, voice shaking, heart breaking, a courage to say “You’re better than this”. Treasure them.

15. Do not love out of fear or convenience. Do not love when you’re lonely. Love when you’re ready. Stop chasing love. It will find you. Choose the one you love then love the one you choose.

16. Do not force anything. Never question what feels natural. Love is in the intangible things. Let everything flow naturally.

17. Music is fuel to my soul. Your taste in music says a lot about you. Poetry is the story of my heart. It is thoughts that bleed and words that burn. It is the language to my being.

18. Some older versions of you only exist because other people give them oxygen. You are allowed to outgrow things and people. Life is forward. Never stay the same. Protect the person you are now.

19. One of the hardest things is knowing some people came into your story only for a chapter. Learn to let go

20. Self-reflection is a major key. Sometimes people are a reflection of who we are. Instead of pointing out their faults and seeing everything they are doing wrong, look at yourself and ask why certain things trigger you. Stop trying to change people.

21. The truth is, hiding and suppressing your emotions is what makes you powerless. Hiding who you are and what you feel will do more hard than good to you. Learn to always express your feelings.

22. Just remember this: if God doesn’t fix the situation , he is using the situation to fix you.

23. Showers are for reflection. I’m a singer, movie director, fashion designer all in my shower. Water cleanses. My ideas flow naturally. Its a spiritual experience.

24. The older I get, the more I realize the value of privacy, of cultivating your circle and only letting certain people in. you can be open, honest, and real while still understanding not everyone deserves a seat at the table of your life.

I noticed my life changing or I at least I was less stressed when I did these things: Practice gratitude. Realize how blessed you are. Be honest with yourself. Always focus on the positives. There’s someone fighting your battles for you; GOD! Believe you will always be fine.

Well, Happy birthday to me. I pray this new age comes with wisdom, more love, mental, physical, spiritual and psychological stability and may I thrive in my purpose. May I be genuinely happy. Have a blessed week and weekend.

Sammy J.


13 thoughts on “24 lessons I picked up in my years of living

  1. Happy Birthday Sammy!!!! I can say, I was not as wise as you are when I was 24….some of the points you hit were spot on. I especially loved the last point #24. That is so true, you can be nice but that doesn’t mean that person deserves a seat! I like that and will apply that to my own life, sort of reminds me of the post I’ll be writing this month in which is talking about that discovery as relationships are concerned. May God continue to bless you and grow you in him and his word. Happy 24th!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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