I’m still healing…

Wounds don’t heal the way you want them to. They heal the way they need to.

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I don’t know if many people value healing or if they give themselves enough time to do so. Most times when someone goes through a loss or a heartbreak, people expect them to be over it quickly. I had a conversation with a friend and he wondered why I wasn’t dating or why I didn’t want to give a certain guy a chance and I told him “I’m working on myself. I’m still healing“. And he was like ” but you can heal with someone by yourself. You can let love do the work for You ” and I laughed. The truth is, if we gave ourselves the time and space to heal, we will avoid a lot of problems and save time. If we just gave ourselves time to know and love ourselves, know our triggers, our insecurities and all of that, it will be so easy to know how to voice our concerns with our partners. It will be much easy to speak from a place of authenticity. It will be so easy to communicate. It will be so easy to be vulnerable and transparent and if you’re not willing to be 100% vulnerable, then you’re not ready to love.

So here’s a few things about healing:

1) Your wound may not be your fault…but your healing is your responsibility.

Sometimes we project our fears and pain onto others. We expect them to be our savior. We expect them to heal us but the truth is, they could offer support, love, care and understanding…but the work is essentially yours. Someone cannot heal you for you. You have to take all the energy, time and love and pour it on yourself.

2) Healing comes in waves.

There are days you will feel like you are over it. Your soul will be bright again. You will smile again. And other days you go sinking back into your pain. That’s what healing does. It is a constant process so when you feel those feelings hitting you strong again, press in some more to move forward and keep working on yourself.

3) Healing has no time frame.

Sometimes we compare ourselves to people and wonder why we are slower or faster in the way we function. It can one month for someone. 6 months for another but a whole year for you to feel like you’re healing and it’s alright. You are not them and they are not you. So don’t put an excessive pressure on yourself to heal immediately. Allow yourself to feel everything. Go to the core of your issues. Understand why you’re feeling that way. It’s not a race. Take your time and go at your pace. Give yourself that grace. Be gentle with your wounds. Be gentle with your heart.

4) Talk to someone.

Like I said healing is your responsibility but when you speak about what is hurting You, it takes a weight off you. When you receive that love and support from Someone, it pushes you compared to if you are just alone battling everything by yourself. Have someone who checks up on you. Who prays for you. Someone who loves you even after seeing you being a mess. It will help a lot in your healing process.

Most importantly,

5) You have to want healing.

If you keep going back and forth to what hurt you, how do you expect to heal? If you keep focusing on your past, your mistakes, your flaws,insecurities etc, how do you expect to move on? To heal, you need to stop touching your wound. You also can’t heal in the same environment that broke/hurt you. The soul always knows how to heal itself. The biggest challenge is to silence the mind. Healing comes when you choose to walk away from the darkness and go towards the light. So make the right choice and do what’s best for you.

This is to the one still working on themselves( me too)…acknowledge this:

I am still healing…

From my mistakes

From my hurt and pain

From my past

From my flaws and imperfections

From my insecurities

From my issues

I am now learning…

To know myself

To love myself

To forgive myself

To take myself more seriously

To do what’s best for me

To be the best version of me.

Always defend your right to heal at your own pace. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to not have everything figured out. Take your time to heal mind, body and soul but for your healing to come to even start, you have to want it in the first place.What’s broken can be mended. What hurts can be healed. When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, then you know you have healed. So do yourself a favor and go for it. Have a blessed day.

Sammy J.


hey guys, i hope you enjoyed this read. Is it usually easy for you to heal? What are some tips that help you to heal? Can you say you have healed from everything in your life and are there some things you still need to work on? Comment down below so we could all share and learn from each other. Blessings

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10 thoughts on “I’m still healing…

  1. Thanks for the post. It makes so much sense. As for me, every time I have an encounter that leaves me broken, the easiest way for me to heal is fellowship with the Holy Spirit. He is a Comforter and a Counselor. He comforts me and teaches me exactly what to do in other to heal. I only really have to acknowledge His presence and obey His instructions.

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  2. IMO I think healing begins when we accept the fact that we can’t change certain things depending on the scenario this time.. also when we understand we don’t actually need to force things.

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  3. A very helpful and positive post, Sammy; a lot of truth here. I suffer from colitis and desire to be healed; perhaps underlying issues I need to work on that lead to flare ups. Bible study, prayer, walks, yoga, and eating right all help me.

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